Say CHEEZE! at Powai with EEZE!

This is a story of 4 innocent guys, who were wandering in a city called Mumbai. One night, while loitering around the outskirts of the city, they reached a place called Powai Lake. Just before I go ahead with the story let me give you a brief idea of the exact scenario.

Characters: Ravi, PD, Meer and Phrozen
Location: Powai Lake, Mumbai (enroute to Mumbai Internation Ariport i.e. if you really want to make it enroute...) My suggestion, do not take any road suggested by Meer!
Time of the day: Something 2ish in the night
Mission: Driving from Pune to Mumbai so that they could receive their friend Anshul, who was arriving by flight from LA early that morning.

So, I guess you got the idea about the whole scenario thing, let's go ahead. So the 4some find this beautiful lake (beautiful? my foot... just some pitch black open area) enroute to the Airport and decide to stop (Meer's idea of stopping here). So here starts the conversation.

Meer: So guys, this place is Powai Lake. Let's go and sit there, near the steps.

Phrozen (thinking): Wow! Nice place to get a chic (oops lady)

Ravi: Nice place!

(Ya right! wait for 10 more minutes)

Meer (continuing...): You guys see that place, right on the opposite side of the lake!

The other 3: Yes, whats that place?

Meer: Thats a hotel, that's where we had a party once from the office.

Phrozen: Wow, cool man! Apne yahaa toh Baasuri ke aage gaye hi nahee!

PD: Hey guys, lets take a snap here! Hey Phrozen, you wont fit, I want to take the picture of the lake also.

Phrozen moves his butt away and looks back at the road, while the other 2 pose for the snap. He notices a police jeep stopping by the road. A well built (at all the undesired places) dumbhead officer gets out of the jeep and stands there for a moment. Flash! there goes the flash on my backside.

Is this worth 2500???

Phrozen (laughing): He he he! You guys just took a picture in Mumbai at 2 in the night. Now police uncle will come and punish all of us.

NB: From this point on most of the conversation was in Marathi and Phrozen didn't know Marathi. God bless him and his weird interpretations!

Just moments later police uncle came and stood in front of the 4 and asked in Marathi.

Uncle 1: What are you guys doing here at this time of the day? And why did you'll take a snap here?

Confused, Ravi said: Actually we are going to Mumbai Airport (point to be noted) to receive a friend, who is coming from America (point to be noted). We lost our way to the airport and we saw this place. We thought we will rest here for sometime. We have just driven from Pune and we were going to leave this place in another 5 minutes.

Uncle 2: But don't you know photography is not allowed here.

What the f#&%! thought Phrozen. Shit shit shit!! Now what?

Uncle 1: Ok, fine, sit in the jeep, and you mister, give me the camera.

PD: What! Sir no please. This is a digital camera, I will erase the picture.

Uncle 1: That I dont know! Give me this camera and sit in the jeep.

PD: Sir please! please!

Uncle 2: But why did you take the picture, didn't you read the board there?
All 4 of us thinking, where the f$#& is the board? There it was, right in one corner, hidden behind a small tree, which read that photography was not allowed in that area and you would land up paying a fine of 500 bucks (important point to be noted!) if you did so.

Uncle 2: You guys are all learned, can't you read it. I could understand if some illiterate would have done this. So tell me what are you guys doing?

Ravi: Sir, we are all engineers (point to be noted, Ravi, i'll kill you for this one) working in software companies (damm, now tell him the salaries also... Grrrr!)
Uncle 2: Look, just do one thing, sit in the jeep, and wait for Uncle 1 to come. He gets annoyed if you don't respond to his commands. Just sit inside, we will handle the whole thing.

At this moment, Uncle 1 was busy tackling some other all-guy gang (of around 15) at the other corner, which looked more heated than our state. The conversation went on in Marathi and Phrozen now couldn't get a thing. He started interpreting things. Are these guys wanting to keep me in the jeep and then they can merrily go away? I hope they are not pointing that im the BANK amongst them. All he carried was some 500 odd bucks. Sweat started developing on Phrozen's forehead. Uncle 1 returns.

Uncle 1: So you guys still standing outside. I'm telling you for the last time get inside the jeep.

After a lot of Sorry's and Please's and get the f$%^ out of here (in Phrozen's mind) they agreed to sit inside. Who inside first??? Obviously Phrozen. The jeep started, the driver telling the Uncle 1 to forgive them and take some money and finish off the business. The driver was warned not to speak about the matter and told him to drive in some bizarre corner of the road. Now Phrozen's pulse-rate shoots up. He thought - What the hell, why is he taking us into this corner. Oh my god! I hope he's not the SFO type. Dammit where the hell am I. God help us!

The car slowed a little, the headlights went off suddenly. In a total stealth mode, he stopped in the corner and suddenly the headlights burn again. Then Uncle 2 got out, used his torch and looked around. He shouted "No one here". Phew! what a relief to the 4. He was just looking if someone was loitering around in the area. The car sped off from there and stopped near a small office, which looked like a typical Chowky. Uncle 1 sat on a stool there and kept quiet. This sounded weird, even more weird than David frowning on not getting his contri back.

After a while he said: Look, pay me 6000 bucks and finish off the matter. By the way, not to forget, all this while Phrozen kept murmuring "Sir please sir please. We're sorry" in an infinite loop to Uncle 1. From this point on, I would address Phrozen as Phattu (he no longer deserves to be addressed by his name).

Phattu (thinking): Dammit pay him the money and lets get out of here. Today is Mom's birthday, if he calls home, mom will never forget this. This will be her worst birthday and on top of that no more late nights in Pune. Dad always use to say to get back home by 11. Guys pay whatever he wants, just wanna get the hell out of here.

Ravi: Sir, this is not fair. We are not some jerks. We are people from good families. On the board it was written 500 bucks and how can you demand for 6000? This is totally unfair. We don't even have that much money.

Meer adds: We will not pay anything more than 500 to you. If you want the money we will pay you 500 that's all. It's clearly written on the board.

Uncle 1 (now in a horrible tone): So you are teaching me law. Now you guys here will teach me the law? (To Uncle 2) Hey! call the mobile van. I will make sure these guys have to face it today. Now you pay me anything, you will have to face it tonight.

Phattu (thinking): What the hell! Hey you guys stop talking, what is wrong with you.?

PD: Sir, I'm sorry for what they said. Forgive them. Please sir, be considerate, we do not have so much money. We will have to go to the ATM to get more money (phew! tired to telling you'll what all points to note! another blunder)

Phattu: Sir! please sir! Sir please sir! (Goes on till things settle)

PD: Ok sir, we will pay you, but please be considerate, we do not have that much of money.

Uncle 1 now stands up, goes to the jeep, threatens them to drive them to the mobile van, makes them sit in the jeep again and starts the jeep. Finally after a lot of Sirs! Pleases! Sorries and f$%# off you rotten piece of rat shit (again in Phattu's mind) he agrees on 2500/- bucks. Phattu chills down, ready to pay anything to get into the car and out of this jeep importantly.

Phattu (whispers): Hey PD, give him the money! I will pay extra just get me out of this mess.

PD: Ok sir, here is the money. Give me the camera and we will just get out of this place as soon as possible!

Uncle 1: Here take the camera and don't ever stop here! (Point to be remembered, he doesn't even care to delete the snap, all he wanted was money. Dammit why doesn't the mind work at such times???)

The guys get out of the jeep, not even looking back, get into the cars and flee away from there. Happy ending isn't it. Yes for that day until Phattu narrated the story to his office mates and there started the entire analysis of the incident on the 'POINTS TO BE NOTED'. Ya right! get into this mess and you'll know what you go through.