It's 2 in the night. Mr. Download is all excited since this is the time he gets to squeeze out the maximum speed off the broadband pack he recently bought. No sooner did he jump to click on the dialer, than he got the "Request timed out". Now what?? Call those ratheads!
The phone rings! The same icky voice can be heard and the same sticky lines: "Welcome to Squiffy! Please dial star (*) to proceed". After the usual yada yada on how to get to the appropriate call ASSistant, he was made to wait long enough to rise the mercury of his mind.
"Yellow!" said a southie voice, "How may I assist you?"
"Ya hi, I'm calling from Pune, I'm using Squiffy Broadband for the last 2 weeks and today I am not able to connect to the net!"
"Sir, your user-ID please"
"Its..." and I spell it out for like 2 - 3 times till that numbskull gets it!
"Ok, Sire! You're Mr. Ruksun calling from Pune, Am I right?"
"Yes", thinking I don't care what you call me, just listen to the god dammit complaint.
"You have taken the xyz package. May I confirm your phone details sire? Its 2xxxxxxx and your mobile number is 9xxxxxxxxx"
Ohh wow, these guys are just too good. All I gave is my user-id and now he knows my name, my location, my residence number and my mobile number. And yes he also knows that I'm Sir! i'm impressed! Bullshit, you're just reading the details that I had typed when I registered. Stop the crap and get to the point!
5 minutes down the drain, since I dialed the number.
"Sir, may I know the problem you're facing?"
"Look, I'm trying to connect to the net, but I'm getting a connection timeout!"
"Can I know the error message you are getting?"
"Forget the error message, I know the exact problem. I am trying to ping the gateway and I am getting a 'Request timed out'"
For all those folks and Mr. ASSistant who do not know what 'ping' is, it is a lowest level command that sends tiny message packets to the IP address provided, to check network connectivity.
"Ok sir, try this out. Go to your internet browser options and remove the cache!"
"Whaaat! I mean what! I mean whhhat are you saying? Mister, this is outrageous, you are telling me to remove cache and that would solve the problem?"
"Sir please try it!"
I'm sure the moment I said those dreaded words "I know the exact problem!", got him out of his routine flow of questions. Anyways I was forced to do it (after barking a few %#$%&^ at him in my mind)
"Done, still not working."
"Ok, sir, try and restart your machine! That will reset all the network settings"
"Look, mister! Whoever you are! I am not a fool sitting here who is going to listen to whatever you say! I'm telling you there is a disconnection in the cable and I want you to lodge a complaint against this!"
"Ok sir, please try this last thing sir! Sir, remove all the temporary files from your Windows temp folder. I will explain you how to go to the folder. Which Operating system are you...."
Slaaam!
The phone rings! The same icky voice can be heard and the same sticky lines: "Welcome to Squiffy! Please dial star (*) to proceed". After the usual yada yada on how to get to the appropriate call ASSistant, he was made to wait long enough to rise the mercury of his mind.
"Yellow!" said a southie voice, "How may I assist you?"
"Ya hi, I'm calling from Pune, I'm using Squiffy Broadband for the last 2 weeks and today I am not able to connect to the net!"
"Sir, your user-ID please"
"Its...
"Ok, Sire! You're Mr. Ruksun calling from Pune, Am I right?"
"Yes", thinking I don't care what you call me, just listen to the god dammit complaint.
"You have taken the xyz package. May I confirm your phone details sire? Its 2xxxxxxx and your mobile number is 9xxxxxxxxx"
Ohh wow, these guys are just too good. All I gave is my user-id and now he knows my name, my location, my residence number and my mobile number. And yes he also knows that I'm Sir! i'm impressed! Bullshit, you're just reading the details that I had typed when I registered. Stop the crap and get to the point!
5 minutes down the drain, since I dialed the number.
"Sir, may I know the problem you're facing?"
"Look, I'm trying to connect to the net, but I'm getting a connection timeout!"
"Can I know the error message you are getting?"
"Forget the error message, I know the exact problem. I am trying to ping the gateway and I am getting a 'Request timed out'"
For all those folks and Mr. ASSistant who do not know what 'ping' is, it is a lowest level command that sends tiny message packets to the IP address provided, to check network connectivity.
"Ok sir, try this out. Go to your internet browser options and remove the cache!"
"Whaaat! I mean what! I mean whhhat are you saying? Mister, this is outrageous, you are telling me to remove cache and that would solve the problem?"
"Sir please try it!"
I'm sure the moment I said those dreaded words "I know the exact problem!", got him out of his routine flow of questions. Anyways I was forced to do it (after barking a few %#$%&^ at him in my mind)
"Done, still not working."
"Ok, sir, try and restart your machine! That will reset all the network settings"
"Look, mister! Whoever you are! I am not a fool sitting here who is going to listen to whatever you say! I'm telling you there is a disconnection in the cable and I want you to lodge a complaint against this!"
"Ok sir, please try this last thing sir! Sir, remove all the temporary files from your Windows temp folder. I will explain you how to go to the folder. Which Operating system are you...."
Slaaam!
6 comments:
HA HA HA!!!
They are so irritating man. I agree.
In one such incident for some phone banking activity he fished out all possible details from me for 5-10 mins and then said sorry you will need to visit the branch to solve this problem.
Damn it!!
Heeeehehee ... This reminds me of an infoscian friend of mine who used to call ICICI bank up, the phone banking section then talk for the next 10 mins to kill time when he used to get bored in the office and back home, it was IDEA, the toll free 2222 number !!!
thtz a nice blog ruz...
but i think..like makarands friend was disturbing ppl in customer care...chances are somebody was trying to trouble u at 2 a.m:)
risha
have mercy on those poor call center ppl.. especially the feminine ones. do u expect them to solve all ur stupid problems. mr. if u had known the problem, solve it urself ;)
d:
Jeez ..do you have any idea?
R:
Ohh btw Did he/she not tell you to reboot your DSL modem? Thats one of their legandary tricks ;-)
Amiable dispatch and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you on your information.
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